Welcome to My Life

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever want to run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work
It was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

Emo Queen is Back

Sigh, here I am, loitering in front of the computer for hours, being unproductive, thus rendering my skipping class effort to finish up my assignment completely to waste (please don’t tell my parents). I don’t know how much of my brain cells are left alive, maybe about one eighth of them? Nonetheless, these pathetic remains of my brain are still sufficiently workable for me to produce this crappy post to rant and complain and make everyone who reads it absolutely disgusted. Oh my God, I don’t even know what am I crapping in here. Just feel like crapping and crapping and crapping.

BUT

I will survive!!!

Stay tuned for my aftermath report

To be continued …

Always in My Heart

Since I am still in the refractory period, i.e : desensitized to the extent of completely not being able to work on my pilling up assignments, I decided to write a post in dedication to one of my close friend, Daniel Teoh whom I hope are now save in the arms of God.

Despite being 25 months younger, Daniel has always assumed a very protective role over me even from the very beginning of our acquaintance. It could either be his natural inclination as the eldest in the family to look after his girl friends or me appearing weak and fragile (though I am not in actual fact), conning him into thinking that I really needed his care. I guess both reasons are pretty valid.

There are lots of sweet memories being shared between the two of us and it is not easy to accept the fact that he is gone (although it has been 2 months now), especially when he is just so young. Not even 21.

Pretty often, I find myself trying hard to retrieve the memories of our last conversation together. How did it go? Did I say something hurtful to him unintentionally? Suddenly, every single word that came from me during that last earthly conversation we shared became very crucial. But no matter how hard I tried, the memory seemed vague. It upsets me a lot but it also gave me a very important message, a lovely word by the name of 'appreciation'. To appreciate all the lovely souls God sent to bless me, those who are still close at heart and at psyche as well as those who seemed distant away. To childhood friends as well as newly formed acquaintances.

To everyone who is reading my blog now, I love you no matter who you are.

To Daniel, memories of you will always exist, safely kept deep in my heart, no matter where you are. Thanks for such a wonderful friendship, my dear friend. Missing you always.

Thanking all my lovely caring friends

Like I said, I really am blessed. I put up a post about what I have been doing lately with no intention of proclaiming to the world how stressed I am lately (seriously). But then, all those concerned nice friends of mine are sensitive enough to sense it (not that I am excessively stressed, just a little) and pampered me with scores of soothing and encouraging words. Just wanted to say thanks especially to Jun Min and Mun Yeu, the two little close friends of mine that are experiencing some degree of stress themselves. Cheer up and ganbatte. We shall fight off stress together!

Me, Myself and I

Hie hie, was feeling bored so decided to scribble a few words into my blog today. Hmm, let’s see. What did I do today? Well, I slept, woke up, travelled back to my aunt’s home, spent some time together with her, ate lunch, spoke to my mummy, daddy and sissy, slept again, woke up, did some chores, ate dinner and feel sleepy again.

Simply put, I experienced the life of a PIG today. One day in the world as a PIG. Not bad. But now it’s time to step back into reality and work on my pilled up assignments.

Hmmmm, I think I am all geared up after the essential rest. Here we go! Vroom….

To all my dear batchmates out there (both new and old), ganbatte kudasai ne !!!!!

Hie I am Back

Oh my, can’t believe I have not been blogging for almost two months now. Kinda pathetic wasn’t it? Considering all the excessive thoughts that are storming my mind right now, waiting eagerly to be expressed out. So many monopolizing thoughts, so many different stories to tell, I am seriously getting lightheaded. Hehe. Nevertheless, I have this interesting story to share about how merciful and passionate our heavenly father is as he has always been.

Lately, there is a lot of matter that has been keeping me real busy, occupying a large chunk of my time. I was so busy until I totally lost count of the days, mixing up weekdays with weekends. Honorably, I have been accounted by my fellow group members to make an important call to a welfare home (for our group project) seeking to clarify some important issues yesterday. And due to my crazy schedule, I totally forgot about the task and fail to make the call. There I was, laying down happily on my bed after an eventful day, knowing that everything will be fine when I open my eyes the next morning after sharing a long and intense ‘personal time’ with God, completely ignorant to the unaccomplished task.

So, when I open up my eyes this morning, welcoming yet another wonderful day, memories of the assigned duty came back to me and I was terrified. Oh no, the welfare home is closed on weekends (to phone calls) and the proposal paper is due on Monday. What should I do? As I was pondering on my carelessness, I suddenly remembered that I manage to get hold of the person in charge’s personal contact number through persistent request. However, I threw the paper housing the crucial information after being able to speak to him through the general line as I do not want to violate people’s privacy unnecessarily.

As a last minute deviant resort, I drove back to ss2 all the way from Subang Jaya and search through the huge bag of garbage outside the house. Through his grace, God enabled me to locate the paper. Feeling blessed, I thanked God repeatedly and hurried into the house to make ‘the call’. However, the call was unanswered even after a number of attempts. Feeling slightly discouraged, I went online and starting chatting with some close friends to cheer myself up while thinking of a backup plan. After about an hour, I decided to try again and guess what? He picked up the phone and answered all my queries. Now, we are back to square one and the proposal in on its way. Thank you Lord. I love you.

A day to remember

I had an appointment yesterday with a close friend from Korea, Jeong Su which I happen to meet during a mission trip to Thailand a couple of weeks back. She was staying temporarily in Malaysia for some evangelical work before embarking on a two year mission trip to America.

I was given the privilege to visit her at her host in which she prepared a simple but tasty Korean meal for me. We were joined for dessert by another Korean friend, Shinae who will also be going for a two year mission trip. The entire meal was prepared by Jeong Su.

The awesome meal prepared by our Korean Chef, Lady Jeong Su

The bean paste fondly known as 'Samjang' by the Koreans

Opening ceremony ~ho~ho~ho~

Korean style of eating ~ wrap up the rice and fried vege with lettuce leaf with together with 'Samjang' to enhance the flavor

After enjoying a decent meal, the girls decided to try me up for a Korean traditional costume which Jeong Su brought along. Although sweating profusely in the dress, I enjoyed the experience. I had a fare share of pictures taken in the lovely dress which will be uploaded as soon as I receive it from the adorable Shinae.

After enjoying the meal and the costume, I brought Jeong Su for a tour to HELP University College. After that, we went to Subang Parade for a shopping spree in which she manages to secure a pair of exquisite white shoes.

As our tummies started to growl, we went food-hunting for the best place to eat. I suggested ‘Uncle Lim’s Café’ in view of the local delights it cater. I ordered ‘Nasi Lemak Chicken Rendang’ and ‘Uncle Lim Curry Laksa’ for Jeong Su as she is very fond of spicy food. To my delight, she loved the food and was having a good time enjoying her meal.

After the meal, I sent her off to the LRT station and we bid farewell for the night. It was truly a memorable day. Thanks Jeong Su.